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Suicide Pie
Friday, June 24, 2005

I was raised to apologize. This is why "stop saying sorry" is a cornerstone phrase in all of my relationships. My whole life is just one big apology to the world. I'm sorry to inconvenience you. I'm sorry if I snore or make loud eating noises. I'll try not to breathe. My sorry's tend to be more of an inconvenience than the inconvenience I'm apologizing for. These sorry's are annoying an unnecessary. They're a bad attempt at getting negative attention. But at this point my self-esteem is convinced that "no attention is bad attention." Idiot. So even when something good happens to me (which it does, a lot.), I feel so grateful and undeserving that I am unable to accept it. Sorry's turn into thank-you's and thank-you's back into sorry's again in under an hour. I'm sorry. But thank you.

Posted by meghanhounshell at 5:37 PM PDT

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